Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Stuck in the Land of Unforgiveness

I was teaching a course today and we were discussing relationships which were in conflict and it occurred to me that the vast majority of people are in conflict with at least one person at any time in their life. Why are so many of us experiencing conflict? Why are we not able to find peace with those around us? Why haven‟t we found a way of existing together that brings joy to our lives? Are we choosing the wrong people or are we just making life difficult?Life is meant to be peaceful, so what are we missing?
When we choose to incarnate here, we choose a number of lessons we wish to learn, making a list. Taking this list, we look for volunteers to be actors in our play of life‟, souls who are willing to help us achieve the lessons on our list. The easy jobs are filled quickly; everyone is up to being the nice guy/girl. Now the lessons that require you to change enormously the behaviours/ belief/ habits/ patterning or genetics that you have created or birthed yourself into remain. The lessons that will be hard/difficult/ painful for you, that will require the other person to be in conflict with you, to be hated or disliked and to be the one to tell/ create the „hard stuff‟ were ready to be filled. Only the Souls who carried great amounts of love for you stepped forward.
So here we are on Earth amongst all sorts of Souls, some we love, some we like, some we have no time for and others we really can‟t stand being around and other we describe as hating. Some make our life wonderful, some appear to have little effect and others make our life miserable. Each of these people are fulfilling a role. Our Soul, knowing how we would be likely to react has even organised back up plans/extra people to ensure we are success-ful in learning all of our lessons.
For example, I was sexually abused as a young girl. This was arranged at a Soul level to assist me to truly love myself, my abusers agreed to help me with such a terrible task and I agreed they would be perfect for the job. Next it occurs and I am furious, a rage so enormous that I can‟t handle/ face arises. I have forgotten the contract that was formed before my arrival here. I am a young girl who has been invaded in the most putrid way: my sexuality, how I look at myself, my femininity, my sense of safety, how I perceive men and my personal power has been dam-aged and interfered with. I will never be the same. I need to now rebuild my self-love, creating a new way of looking at myself that enables true love for me. But inside is this rage and I don‟t know how to deal with it. I grow through puberty and create behaviours and patterns that keep me safe although are damaging to my relationships.

Now I am a young woman and I am wading through the whirlpool of relationships and sex. I believe that men show their love to me only through sex, and I create new unhealthy beliefs and patterns. I now have other men moving through my life and each and every one of them fails or hurts me in some way. They too have been contracted to en-sure the lesson progresses so that I „get it‟. I am hurt and betrayed and become resentful and bitter at the relationships I am entering into. I have no trust for men and the rage is beginning to show in my body as illness.
In many previous incarnations I have tried to master the self love lesson and not succeeded. In this life I have taken drastic steps and recruited people whose behaviour would cause a catalyst, a breakdown of previous patterns and behaviour so that I could truly move forward in loving myself. I begin healings, finding its causes and begin to address the energetic and physical disturbances; in the process I find myself. I find the most beautiful and gentle woman with a great sense of humour and a very cheeky approach to the world. I find she has great passion to make a difference and I begin to use each and every one of those past experiences to ease the way for others, to inspire them to let go and to begin embracing their lives despite their hurt.
So how did I move on? How did I forgive them all? I chose to stand in my power, to no longer allow their behaviour to detrimentally affect my life or energetics or health in any way. I never once said it was ok for their behaviour, but I chose to forgive the pain they had given me opportunity to experience. I remembered the scene in the Spirit Realm when I was planning this life and the agreements we made together. I realised that they were simply doing what I asked of them, and often better than I could have hoped for in that planning stage as a Soul. I chose to forgive myself for reacting in the ways I did, and for any part I may have played in making things worse……and I began truly living again. I don‟t really understand why my Soul chose this path, and I‟m not sure that its one I‟d recommend as it was a „shocker‟. But so much good has come of it, I have realised I am the woman I am to-day as a result of those experiences and I couldn‟t take any of it back. I am also gifted with the opportunity to heal others and gift back their sexuality and have taught many Intuitive Healers to do this healing too, enabling so many more people to be reached and freed of these horrible invasions of their most sacred places.
I use this approach to every conflict I have in life and it has been so successful, please try it and good luck!
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